


oh you make me such a mess (why can't this just last forever)

by AdmirableMonster (Mertiya)



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Bratting, Cock Slut, First Time, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sibling Incest, Switching, Trans Male Character, background russingon, post magical transition because i'm being self-indulgent, shipper on deck maglor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-28 08:02:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30136494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mertiya/pseuds/AdmirableMonster
Summary: Maitimo expected to be introducing Tyelkormo to intimacy sometime after introducing Findekáno to it; instead, thanks to Makalaurë's inimitable dramatic streak, he finds out almost at the last minute that there is a brother in between.  Maitimo is relieved; Makalaurë is relieved; and a good time is had by all.(Of course, this does leave Makalaurë to deal with Tyelko...but that's another story.)
Relationships: Maedhros | Maitimo/Maglor | Makalaurë
Comments: 12
Kudos: 40





	oh you make me such a mess (why can't this just last forever)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Preservation of Fire](https://archiveofourown.org/works/30040308) by [Hrunting_License](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hrunting_License/pseuds/Hrunting_License). 



> title from Start A Fire by Ryan Star

Makalaurë did not pace back and forth.It was possible he was vibrating slightly, but he had at least enough command of himself to stay seated sedately on the side of the bed.His father’s servants had washed him and dressed him with care, instructing him carefully in the cleaning and preparation of such places as it would have been unseemly of them to touch.It hadn’t, at the time, seemed overwhelming, but only part of the long, pleasant, exciting time that was his coming of age ceremony.Now that he was alone with his thoughts, the thought of Maitimo coming to him _was_ a little overwhelming, he admitted, though he wasn’t going to let his brother know that.

And besides that, and besides the excitement that was twin of the trepidation twisting inside himself, he had a _mission_.Finno had pulled him aside at the end of the first banquet and dragged him into a corner.“You _must_ find out what he likes, cousin,” he begged.“I know it is to be an introduction for you, but mine comes just weeks after, and I have to be _ready_.Please?I will give you anything you like.”

Makalaurë smirked at him.“Anything?” he asked teasingly, and stole a quick kiss.Findekáno let him, though he tugged irritably at his cousin’s braid. 

“Yes,” he said shortly.“Honestly, anything.”

His eyes shone with the truest love Makalaurë had ever seen.“No, no, I but jested with you,” he said, gently, taking Findekáno’s hands.“I know how you feel about him.I’ll make sure you know everything I do.”

Tapping out a little rhythm on his knee for a song he was composing was calming enough that he almost didn’t notice when the door swung open.He looked up, not quite startled, to see Maitimo standing there.For an instant, he was nervous, again, his mouth dry and his hands bunching in the silk robe he wore.Then Maitimo smiled at him, his usual kind smile, and Makalaurë’s nerves vanished, and he smiled shyly back, tucking his hair behind one ear.It was unbound but for a single braid crossing from one side to the other, with loose red roses braided into it.

“I hope you did not wait long?” Maitimo said, as he entered the room and came to sit beside his brother on the bed.Makalaurë shook his head.“Are you nervous?” Maitimo asked, gently.He did not touch Makalaurë.Makalaurë swallowed, and wished he would.

“A little,” he confessed.“But—but I’m glad it’s you, Nelyo.”He could not imagine what it must have been like for Maitimo, to be sent away to couple with one of the Ainur.He knew that had very nearly been his lot as well, and while it hadn’t been what had finally pushed him to change his _hröa_ , it certainly hadn’t hurt. 

“I won’t hurt you,” Maitimo said.“I won’t do _anything_ you don’t want me to, Káno.”He put one hand over Makalaurë’s and threaded their fingers together.Then, hesitantly and slowly, so that Makalaurë could draw back if he wanted to, he leaned forward and kissed him softly on the lips.He tasted like treelight. Findekáno, Makalaurë thought to himself, was going to die.He wasn’t sure he was far off himself.

He kissed back—this, at least, he had some practice in, and then he scooted over to slide into his brother’s lap.Maitimo’s big hands fell onto his waist, rubbing soothingly across them.He disengaged from the kiss.“I know this must still be very new to you in particular,” he said gently, which was a very sweet way of saying, _I really didn’t expect to be the one to introduce you to sex_.Makalaurë’s ears warmed.“But do you know anything of what you like?I knew a little, when it was my turn.I had—explored.”

“Were you thinking of anyone in particular when you explored?” Makalaurë asked, then made his eyes very wide and innocent as his brother’s gaze caught his.“Is that usual?”

Maitimo’s grey eyes narrowed at him, and Makalaurë did not let his smile widen, not yet.

“Art thou scheming something, brat?” Maitimo asked dryly.“Thy _hröa_ may be subtly different, but don’t think thou canst fool me.”

“I am always scheming something,” Makalaurë returned, fluttering his lashes with amusement.“But it is _your_ job as my esteemed eldest brother to figure out what it is.”

Maitimo made an irritable noise.“I did—think of certain things, when I explored,” he said, carefully.“But they are _private_.”

Makalaurë pouted but gave it up.He would be very surprised if he were wrong, at any rate.Maitimo was very careful, but even his eyes lingered occasionally, and Makalaurë was very good at catching him looking.“Well, in any case,” he said practically, “I like kissing, and I like it when people touch my neck—none of which has changed, of course—but as for the rest, I have no real idea.”He had touched his new _hröa_ , of course, but it was difficult to know how much was the euphoria of rightness, how much was the sensitivity of newness, and how much was likely to have staying power.

“All right.”Maitimo bit his lip very prettily.“Why don’t I touch you, then, to start?If I do anything you don’t like, you must tell me.It is not as if I have so much experience introducing someone to this.”

“I am more likely to beg you to keep going than to ask you to stop,” Makalaurë said, winding a hand in thick red hair.“But yes, I have enough sense to squawk if I’m hurt, Russandol.”

“Good.”Maitimo picked him up and laid him gently on the bed, spreading his arms and legs apart and kneeling between his thighs, looking down at him with an intent, careful expression that made Makalaurë feel weak, and made his new cock twitch very happily indeed.Valar, he thought, if Maitimo could do this with a _look_ , he was going to destroy Makalaurë and Findekáno both. 

His brother began by stroking a broad hand through Makalaurë’s hair, which made him shiver.He squirmed at the still-unusual, delightful sensation of his cock filling.Maitimo plucked roses out of his hair and laid them in a careful line along the pillow, then went back to stroking him.“Good?” he asked.

“Do it harder,” Makalaurë begged, breathlessly, and Maitimo tugged and dug in his nails, and Makalaurë was arching off the bed and moaning, “ _Russandol_!”His cock had never been so hard before; he had never in his _life_ ached like this, in any form.Maitimo kissed him, long, careful, and lingering, his other hand stroking Makalaurë’s face, and it was all Makalaurë could do just to reach out and hold onto those broad shoulders.Through the fog of desperate arousal, he just barely remembered he was supposed to be finding out what Maitimo liked as well, and he managed to get his hands to start roaming across his older brother.Maitimo’s muscles shifted beneath his hands, and he made a strangled noise when Makalaurë’s clumsy thumb brushed one pebbled nipple.

“Do you like that, Russandol?” Makalaurë asked innocently, breathlessly.

“ _I_ am supposed to be instructing _you_ , brat,” Maitimo told him sternly.“ _Oh!_ ” Makalaurë had innocently tweaked one, and the look on Maitimo’s face—

Yes, that was a note to give to Findekáno.

“Surely, part of that instruction must be how to pleasure a partner as well?” Makalaurë asked wickedly. 

Maitimo sighed.“Brat,” he said fondly, and bent to kiss Makalaurë’s neck.Makalaurë whined as those sweet lips trailed hot sensation down to his collarbone.“Nelyo,” he gasped.“ _Nelyo_ —”

“You _do_ like that,” Maitimo rumbled, and he nipped at Makalaurë’s ear.Heat twisted in Makalaurë’s belly, and he fisted his hands in the sheets.They had barely done _anything_ yet. 

His brother’s hands trailed over his own chest, sliding his robe open, and he whimpered.There was so much sensation, almost but not quite too much.He was tingling all over.The robe pooled around him on the bed, and he shakily worked to extricate himself.Maitimo sat back on his knees to unbelt and remove his own robe, and Makalaurë bit his lip as he looked at his brother’s slim, muscled form.He was so much taller than Makalaurë.Makalaurë had put on a little height during his seclusion, but no more than enough to take him just a bit taller than Findekáno, mostly to irritate his cousin.

As his brother’s robe slipped from his shoulders, Makalaurë found his eyes drawn to Maitimo’s cock, which was thick and hard and _very_ large.Maitimo caught him looking and went slightly red.“Do you,” he started, and stalled, and started again.“One of us can go inside the other’s hole,” he finished, clearing his throat.His fair skin could not disguise the blush beneath his freckles.“It’s—it’s very nice, if your partner is careful.”

Another note for Finno.And Maitimo seemed ready to do whatever Makalaurë wanted.

“I know I’m—large, and you’re—”

“Tiny,” Makalaurë supplied.“Yes, but.”He swallowed.His cock twitched again.“I want to try it.Have you been inside anyone before, Russandol?”

Maitimo shook his head, face burning.“But I’m certain I can do whatever you need, Káno.”

Makalaurë considered this.“Do you think—we can do both?” he asked.“I’d like to try both, and it seems like it would be the most useful.”

Stroking both hands down Makalaurë’s sides, Maitimo kissed him again, thoughtfully.“The difficulty can be getting your cock to fill again,” he said, “after you’ve spent once.But your _hröa_ is new, and there is no rush.Yes, Káno, if that’s what you’d like, that’s what we’ll do.Which of us shall take the other first?”

“I’ll take you.” The earlier he took the active role, the more likely he was still to be of a mind to gather the requisite information for Findekáno.“But,” Makalaurë continued, with a sudden burst of inspiration, “Russandol, you must tell me what you like.”

Maitimo nodded and kissed his forehead.“What I know, I will tell you.”He helped Makalaurë up and lay down, taking his place, his red hair spilling across the pillow.He was a vision like that, all long lithe limbs and pale skin dusted with freckles.Makalaurë swallowed. _Lucky Findekáno_.

“What,” he stammered, feeling suddenly overwhelmed and nervous, “what do I do now?”

“Get some oil.They always leave some—yes, in the bedside drawer.If you’re lying with a _nís_ , you may not need it quite so much, though it isn’t a bad idea, I am told—” he halted, looking embarrassed.“I imagine you know that already.”

“It’s, it’s good to think about other _hröar_ , I don’t know how the ones I’ve had generalize,” Makalaurë pointed out.He fetched the oil and came back.It smelled of something sweet and vaguely floral.“So I put this, in, inside you?”

Maitimo nodded.“On your fingers.Your fingers inside me.I don’t think I need much preparation, but you might as well get the practice.”

Clumsily, Makalaurë did his brother bid him, kneeling between his legs and pushing two fingers up into him, watching the way his hips rocked and his head tipped back. 

“That’s—that’s good, Káno,” Maitimo told him shakily.“There’s—you may not know—there’s a place inside that feels very—you’ll want to find it if you’re with another _nér_ , but you may have to search a little, it’s—” Makalaurë pushed his fingers in further, moving the tips around questioningly, and Maitimo groaned.“ _Yes, there_ ,” he said.“Stars, just like—like that—Káno.”

Makalaurë swallowed again.The flush was seeping down from his brother’s face to his chest, and he was writhing on the bed, his cock leaking and trembling even though Makalaurë hadn’t touched it.“Russandol,” he said helplessly.“Can I—I want—”

“Yes,” Maitimo said.“Yes, please, Káno, I—”He bit his lip and opened his eyes, and they were blown dark and wide.“This has never failed to utterly ruin me,” he said quietly.“I have to warn you, I don’t know if I can be—be instructive, once your cock is in me.I like it so much.”

“It’s all right,” Makalaurë told him. _Findekáno is going to faint.He’s going to die.I’m going to die._ Why was Maitimo so beautiful, so lovely, so kind, so _perfect_?“It’s still practice, after all.”He grinned.“I hope that my partner in the future is so excited at the thought.”It came to him then that Findekáno might get this every night, in the future, but for Makalaurë there was only this one time, and that was how it was supposed to be, but—

He didn’t want it to be only one time. 

He shook his head.He would just have to make it count. Maitimo smiled at him, waiting, unhurried, from within his spreading red hair.Makalaurë paused, then ran a hand along his inner thigh.He kissed Maitimo’s abdomen, then his chest, licking at his stiff, peaked nipples, and Maitimo’s hands dropped into his hair, clutching at him desperately.“Káno, _please, please_ —” he begged hoarsely, and Makalaurë took pity on him, feeling the way his abdominal muscles tightened as he clumsily arranged his cock at Maitimo’s entrance and then pushed into him, using his hips to anchor himself as he sank into that wonderful heat.His brother tightened around him with a soft, desperate noise.

Makalaurë hadn’t been certain if he would know what to do next, but he was thrusting almost immediately, sliding out and back in, his brother’s ankles locking around his waist as Maitimo rocked back against him.It was slick and hot and tight and wonderful.“ _Russandol_ —”

“Káno, Káno, _ai_ —like that, please, please—”He had not been wrong, the last remnants of coherent thought in Makalaurë’s brain pointed out.His cock working inside his brother had nearly deprived him of coherent words, had him writhing and begging and pleading and _wrecked_ —he was so beautiful and so desperate, and Makalaurë found he was fucking him harder just from _watching_ him.

Maitimo didn’t seem to mind that at all.Quite the contrary—he whimpered and matched all of Makalaurë’s motions.“It’s—good?” Makalaurë managed to gabble, from somewhere in between sweat and heat and eager need.

“So good,” Maitimo gasped.“So— _aaaa—Káno_ —”Makalaurë felt those slick hot walls contracting around him as Maitimo wailed his name once more and came, spattering seed across both their stomachs, and the feeling was enough to—

He had climaxed before, largely before reshaping his _hröa_ , perhaps once, furtively and excitedly afterwards, but it had been nothing like this, nothing like being buried to the hilt in his brother’s pliant body as his orgasm was drawn out of him with a soft gasp and a groan.

They lay together, side by side. _That is enough notes_ , Makalaurë thought, trembling a little.His own instruction was important as well as Findekáno’s.Maitimo’s chest was heaving, but he recovered quickly, or perhaps he forced himself to recover quickly.“Has that taught you something, little brother?” he asked, rolling over on one elbow and smiling, equal parts teasing and kind.

“It has taught me that I like being inside, inside someone very much,” Makalaurë said, at the last disastrous moment substitution “someone” for “you.”“But I would like to know how it feels the other way around, for you looked as though you were _very_ pleased with the proceedings.”

Maitimo flushed.“I don’t know how much that is common and how much it’s me,” he said, hesitatingly.

“And how shall we find out but to test it?” Makalaurë demanded.He could not stand the thought of this being over already. 

“All right, all right, needy one,” Maitimo said, giving him a very brotherly kiss on the forehead.“But we shall need a little time to recover, or at the very least _I_ shall.”

Makalaurë hummed to himself and sat up, too flushed with pleasure and excitement to remain lying on the bed.The ceremonial room was outfitted with a small washing area, where water flowed into a sunken recess in the floor from a ceramic box above the fireplace, where it was heated.He sang something cheerful that he thought he had heard the week before as he began to wash off the sweat and fluids.

“That sounds familiar, but not like one of your tunes,” Maitimo said from the bed, and Makalaurë felt himself blushing hotly across the back of his neck.

“It is—that is, I think it is a silly thing that Findaráto composed,” he replied loftily.

His brother made a noise he could not interpret, and Makalaurë bit his lip.Stars, he had not thought anything of his tendency to pick up snatches of his golden cousin’s songs, not until he was standing here beneath the flowing water and thinking of them now, with the marks of his first adult encounter being slowly erased by the flowing water.

Cleaned and washed, he returned to the bed and began to practice the notes of a flute across Maitimo’s fair skin.Maitimo gave him a baleful look.“Perhaps I had better wash as well,” he said.“Stop it, brat, that tickles.”

“Hmph, I hope my future lover will have better taste,” Makalaurë sniffed.

Maitimo gave him a smile that was closer to a grin and said, “I hear that Ingo is very ticklish.”

While Makalaurë sputtered and tried to come up with a response that did not indicate the research he was doing for Findekáno, Maitimo got up from the bed as well and crossed to the basin.He was lovely from head to foot, the entire expanse of him—and there was quite a lot of it—pale skin, slim, muscled arms, with hair the color of firelight falling to below his hips.Makalaurë _ached_ , somewhere in the realm of his heart, and wondered again why it must be like this—once and never again.He must remember it, he told himself sternly.He must remember it _forever_.

At least he had finally made up his mind about his _hröa_ before reaching majority.The only thing more heartbreaking than this would have been not to have had it at all.He didn’t understand why it only went down the lines that way; it didn’t seem to make much sense, but then perhaps it was only to make certain to pair siblings with those others who would most intimately understand the particular workings of their _hröar_.

Maitimo washed himself slowly, cleaning Makalaurë’s seed from between his legs, and Makalaurë watched without being able to look away.His brother looked up and caught his gaze as he soaped down his thighs, and he went bright red.“Am I so amusing, brat?” he asked sharply.

Swallowing, Makalaurë shook his head.“Not amusing,” he mumbled, and he could feel the heat on his own cheeks.His cock was hardening again between his legs.

“Oh,” Maitimo said, following his instinctive glance downwards.“I didn’t realize—well, that’s, that’s flattering.Just from looking, Káno?”

“You’re beautiful,” blurted Makalaurë.“Don’t you know that?”

Those long shimmering eyelashes fell over freckled cheeks for an instant.“Of course I know that,” Maitimo returned smoothly, but there was an edge of hesitation in his voice, as if he knew it, intellectually, but perhaps didn’t quite believe it.

“Please come back over to the bed,” groaned Makalaurë.“I want you to fuck me, Russandol.So much.”He didn’t think he’d ever said anything so obscene in his life.

“All right.”Maitimo dried himself off with the towel and obeyed Makalaurë’s summons.“Let’s get you—I think it’s easier if you’re face down?”

“I want to see you,” Makalaurë objected.

Maitimo sighed.“I don’t want to hurt you.”He mantled a hand through Makalaurë’s ink-black hair.

“Please, Nelyo, please,”Makalaurë clutched at his shoulders; if he were face down he wouldn’t see Maitimo’s face, wouldn’t see what his brother looked like inside him, and he’d never have another chance.

“All right, all right, you needy thing.But you must not let me hurt you.”Maitimo kissed the tips of his fingers.“We’ll go very slowly.”

“As slowly as you like,” Makalaurë agreed eagerly.He laid back against the covers and waited, his whole body thrumming like a harp string.Maitimo bent forward and kissed him, slow and deep, sweeping his long fingers up Makalaurë’s ribcage and drawing a ragged moan from his throat.

“You are less ticklish than I am, I see,” Maitimo said, sounding amused.His fingers paused to tweak at Makalaurë’s nipples and Makalaurë couldn’t even squeak, could only lie there with his toes curling and his cock twitching at the sensation.“In this we are alike, though.”Maitimo’s thumb played along the corner of his mouth.“Careful.You’re drooling.”

“Nnnnn,” Makalaurë returned.Then he managed, “Please.”

Maitimo’s long fingers spread his thighs apart gently, and he gasped as his brother bent forward and took his length in his mouth.His nerves were still tingling from earlier, and he moaned and whined, writhing.“I’ll come again, don’t—”

Maitimo laughed and sat back.“Let me get the oil,” he said.“And let me know, of course, if you have questions.”There was a mischievous look on his face.Makalaurë pouted.

“Let’s just have that practical demonstration,” he said after a moment, and Maitimo laughed again as he went to fetch the oil.

When he slid one finger in, Makalaurë gasped and bit down on his lip.

“All right?” Maitimo asked, halting.

“It feels strange, not bad.Nnnnn— _Nelyo_ —” The finger had delved in again, more deeply this time. 

“Let me see if I can find—”

His brother’s finger probed around curiously inside him, and then they brushed against something sweet, something different, _something_ that made him cry out, his toes curling again, rocking down hard against his brother’s fingers.“More,” he begged.“ _More_ , Russandol, please, _please_ —”

“As slowly as I want, remember.”

“ _Nelyo_ —”

There was another finger now, two of them pressing at his hole carefully, opening him up the way he had opened Maitimo earlier.Shimmering waves of crimson hair fell across him as Maitimo bent to kiss him again, and he grabbed at it, twisting his hands through the silken hanks.”Káno,” Maitimo murmured.“Brat.You’re being so sweet for me.”

“Then won’t you fuck me, please?”

“So sweet but _very_ needy.” 

“I’m so slick and open, I’m sure I’ll feel wonderful,” Makalaurë pleaded.“And I want you, I want you more than anything, Russandol, _please_ —”

His brother bit his lip.“All right.”He lined himself up so that Makalaurë could feel that lovely thick cock pressing at his hole.“Try to relax, Káno.”One hand played along his own shaft as Maitimo moved his hips shallowly, starting to push himself inside, slowly, gently.

Makalaurë squirmed.It felt good and like too much at the time same.He was stretched around it, and when he looked down, his own cock twitched at the sight of his brother’s cock entering him, halfway in, between his legs.It was too much but it wasn’t _enough_.That spot inside him was still and dark, not lit up anymore.“More, please, more, Russandol—”

“ _Needy_.” He reached for Maitimo, and Maitimo went to smack his hand away, but Makalaurë moved, and the light smack hit his outer thigh instead.Faintly, he heard Maitimo say worriedly, “Oh, Káno, I’m sorry, I—”

“Stars, hit me again,” Makalaurë interrupted him, his voice trembling with desire.“That felt—”

There was a pause.“Like this?” Another smack made him writhe and cry out, sobbing and begging.He felt Maitimo slip deeper inside him, and he locked his ankles around his brother’s waist, pulling him forward with a gasp and a grunt, and moaning blissfully as that thick cock worked inside him, as Maitimo’s _cock_ hit the place his fingers had played with earlier. 

“Russ—an—dol—”He rolled his hips frantically, trying to fuck himself onto Maitimo’s length.

“Káno—Káno, hold _still_ —” Big hands on his thighs, Maitimo’s weight pressing him down into the bed.“I said _slow_.You said—”

“I didn’t know how good it was going to feel with you inside me, Nelyo, please, _please_ , I’ll die—”

“You will _not_.”Maitimo was panting against him, holding him down, and Makalaurë writhed back against him, as if they were wrestling, but as if they were wrestling with Maitimo’s _cock_ inside him.“You _needy brat_ ,” panted Maitimo.“Hold still.”

Makalaurë whined despairingly, but went limp beneath him, and Maitimo started rocking into him again.“Put your arms around me, let me—ai, you do feel good—” murmured Maitimo, pressing his face into Makalaurë’s neck.

“Told you.So why won’t you fuck me harder?”

“Two—reasons,” grunted Maitimo, though his thrusts grew a little more energetic.“One, I’m still a little concerned that you do not know your limits, and two, I can already tell that you’ll complain for hours if I come before you do.”

Unfortunately, Makalaurë wasn’t certain he could argue with that—it was never very easy to argue with Maitimo.Not that he didn’t try when the opportunity presented itself, but he was having a hard time gathering his thoughts.As Maitimo found a steady rhythm, each thrust struck that same deep place inside Makalaurë, dragging pleasure in its wake, and it reduced him to an incoherent, babbling mess, the only word falling from his tongue his brother’s name, over and over again.

“You’re—drooling again—” panted Maitimo, and his thrusts sped up a little.“Káno, you ought to see—yourself.You’re so beautiful and so—so ruined.Stars. _Nghfk—Káno_.”

“I’m drooling because you’re—I didn’t—it feels so _good_ ,” whined Makalaurë, dropping one hand from his brother’s shoulder to fist it in the sheets.“Want more.”

Maitimo laughed breathlessly.“Little brother, if it were up to me, you would have this whenever you wanted it and so should I.”His eyes caught Makalaurë’s, and Makalaurë suddenly realized that perhaps he wasn’t the only one who wanted to remember this.There was real fear in Maitimo’s gaze, though, as if he hadn’t meant to say that, as if he hadn’t meant to give voice to it.

“Love thee,” Makalaurë whispered beneath his breath, as Maitimo turned him effortlessly into quivering jelly.Another few thrusts, each one onto that sweet spot, and he was arching and crying out, his cock pulsing as he spent himself again, without even a hand on it.Maitimo gave a choked cry and pressed him down into the bed, for just a moment—two thrusts perhaps—fucking him as hard as he wanted, before he was shuddering and releasing himself inside Makalaurë.The thought of his brother’s seed dripping out of him made Makalaurë’s slowly softening cock give a last soft twitch, and he made a sad little noise.

He realized his mistake the next moment, when Maitimo was clutching at his hand.“I didn’t hurt thee, did I?”

“No,” Makalaurë gasped.“No, no, not even—no.Feels—so good.”He was exhausted: a wrung-out, pleasured mess.The only thing marring his mood was the knowledge that it was over, now, and it would never happen again.He pressed his face into Maitimo’s shoulder and clung tightly, as if his brother were a buoy in a stormy sea.It was not as if their closeness was going anywhere; it was only this one physical act.And he would remember; he would remember it always.

“Good.”Maitimo cradled his head and kissed the top of it.“I wanted—I wanted this to be what you needed, so that you can—” he seemed to be groping for words, “move onto the next stage of your life with no regrets.”

Makalaurë gave a helpless squawk of laughter.“Sometimes, you are impossibly pompous,” he told his brother.“You don’t need to act for me, Russandol.”

“No,” Maitimo murmured, kissing him again.“I don’t suppose I do.Shall we get cleaned off again?”

“Not yet,” Makalaurë said quietly.“I’m tired.Let me rest with you, please.”

“All right.”He rolled to the side and pulled Makalaurë against him.“Káno—”

“Yes?”

“I don’t want it to be over either,” Maitimo whispered softly, so softly that Makalaurë wasn’t even certain if he was supposed to be able to hear the words.He wanted to tell Maitimo it would be all right; he wanted to tell Maitimo that he would soon be lying with Findekáno, and he would be able to forget about it, at least.But he couldn’t make the words come.Just for a little while, he wanted to be selfish, to lie in his brother’s arms and forget that outside these walls they must never have this precious thing again.

He buried his face in Maitimo’s neck and began to sing, quietly, the tune of a half-forgotten lullaby.


End file.
